|
imrealsleepy
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Daniel
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Metro: Baltimore
Interests: sleeping, having a good laugh, jamming, rollercoastering, driving/coasting, doodling, korean food, saturday morning cartoons
Expertise: Still trying to figure that out...
Occupation: Student4Life
Industry: Medicine
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  imrealsleepy
Member Since:
10/13/2002
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Can I come before You and say, "You are holy and worthy of all praise"? Can I make this declaration without a desire to receive, to put in requests, to get a response? Can I simply say what I know to be true, acknowledge You, and rest on that understanding?
To worship is to bow down, to prostrate onself, in reverence and awe -- an act of body and mind. There is no room for selfish wants or gains if it is You, the One that I worship. Or has it become Me?
It comes down to the art of losing myself...in bringing You praise. More of You, and less of Me. | | |
| Woke up at 6:20am and headed to work.
Drove around for an extra 10min looking for free parking.
Didn't find any so parked in the garage for yet another $4 down the drain.
Skipped Starbuck's since I was almost late after wasting 10min not finding free parking.
Arrive in the ER to find a patient already waiting.
Quickly introduce myself to the resident and intern on-call and a couple nurses.
See patient.
Present patient.
Put in orders.
Tests are negative.
Send patient home.
Repeat 12 times, with an interesting case here and there.
Buy lunch at 12:30pm.
See patient.
And so on.
Repeat 4 times.
Eat lunch at 3:30pm.
See patient.
And so on.
Repeat 7 times.
Admit one patient to floor.
Leave at 7:40pm after discharging last patient.
Walk to parking garage that I spent $4 and 10min to park in.
Church from 8pm to 11:15pm.
Eat dinner.
Answer emails.
Quickly jot a xanga post.
What a day.
And in all that, thank goodness I work only 3-4 days out of the week 
| | |
| ...and I love it. It's finally fourth year...and after working a 13hr shift in the Pediatric ER yesterday, I feel reassured that this is where God wants me to be. Throughout third year, I definitely felt confused...I could see myself pursuing many different specialties and wondered what exactly I should do. Shoot, just a few weeks ago, I was set on Neurology and was even filling out paperwork for that...bah I wasted $100 on a non-refundable app for that junks!  But after yesterday, I'm reminded once again of my heart for little kiddos and how much I enjoy working with that "population."
I was actually looking at an old QT today. It comes from 2 Peter 1:5-9
"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."
At that time, I totally glossed over this and focused on another part of the passage I was reading. But as I read this again today, I'm reminded of the importance of pursuing growth and not just waiting for it to happen. When I think of growth, I think of physical growth and it seems like an inevitable process. Whether you like it or not, you'll grow, right? Everyone grows older and the end result is the same no matter what we try. There's currently no escape from death, unless you're infected with the KV virus and become a "Darkseeker" (heh I JUST watched "I Am Legend" for the first time  ).
But yea, growth, inevitable. But that comes from my own experiences and knowledge of growth from observing friends and relatives. Yet, that's not the case. The reason why I myself or people I know have grown to be healthy and even to our current age is because we've had the proper nourishment, a bed where we could actually get good rest in, visits to the doctor and dentist, appropriate social interactions that develop and grow us. And as a kid, I've always been given what I've needed from my parents and didn't really have to do much but say I'm hungry, or I feel sick, or I need to talk.
And spiritually, I've felt the same way too. That my growth would be inevitable just from the church I'm attending, the people I'm associating with, the flippant QTs I did from time to time. But more and more, I'm again having to reevaluate what earnestly pursuing means. Not that I'm pursuing super obesity status, but honestly, I'm nowhere near that in my heart. Geez I'm a stick inside and out 
I definitely rested too much on "growing on the job" telling myself that I had a lot of things going on. And yea, I WAS busy, and I DID have time-consuming responsibilities. And over these past years, yea, I was challenged and grew from teaching and being in difficult situations, but I wonder what it would have looked like if I had made "every effort" to pursue my faith, to pursue goodness in myself and in the things that I did, to pursue more knowledge of who God is through readings and spending consistent time in the Word, to pursue self-control and actively confront the thoughts and actions that I knew were unacceptable and often ignored....and so on. I've been satisfied with the trickle when I could have found Niagara Falls.
Thank God for this reminder and a realization of the sad state of current affairs of this heart. I'm tired of my own excuses and tired of putzing around. I serve and am loved by a Mighty God who has made a great sacrifice so that I could live for greater things. The old has gone, the new has come!
ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH THIS????
SHOOT, THIS IS WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!!
| | |
| it definitely is good to be home again. i could say familiarity, but more and more, i'm seeing that home isn't the same as it used to be. the area with its stores and eateries, the friends i have here from elementary to high school days, even my family and pup have changed from what i remembered last. it seems i always have to play a game of catch up...
but overall, it's been good to rest. to eat. to catch up. to read books i've had sitting on my shelf until a time of reprieve.
just came back from christmas service with the family. sadly, the entire service was in korean. geez. and i wondered to myself, as i sat disinterested in the message i couldn't even begin to decipher, is this religiousness? here just for the sake of being here, not really understanding the message, or hymns, or prayers? unable to say amen and agree with what was being prayed. i really wondered what i was doing here...and also why my korean sucked so bad
but seeing and hearing the passion and joy of the choir and congregation in the praises sung, and watching people greet each other heartily and sharing in some soon doobu jjigae afterwards, i was blessed to see the body of Christ in action. i guess a good reminder that hearing a message is great, but intellectual acceptance of it pales in comparison to faith-inspired action. that in the end, faith without works is dead (james 2:26) and likewise works inspired by ill motives.
it's about time to rethink the things i do and the heart behind all that. what is the motive behind it? the goal ahead? it's good to be home. to have this respite. to reflect and reshape some thoughts. nice.
| | |
| It's funny how i used to be on this thing 24/7 back in college and now it's all collected dust with huge gaps in time btwn entries. And how funny it is to look back at old entries and remember those past times and memories...old friends and silly circumstances...reflections, passing thoughts, rants...maybe I'll start jotting some thoughts again to continue to have something to look back to. Heh I guess we'll see..
So finally finishing up my block in Peds with the shelf coming up in a week. Absolutely loved it. I think this'll probably be it unless I feel God tugging me in another direction...but feeling that content peace as I wrestle with it, I'm reassured.
Highlight Moment #1
Checking a 5 year old's ears, I'm getting the otoscope ready and start joking around with him...
Me: "So what are we going to find in your ears today?"
Kid: "A POTAAATO!"
Haha I think the best part was how he said it in a heartbeat. No question, there would be a potato in his ear.
Which also got me thinking...wait, did he really stick one in there? But no chunks, so we were good 
| | |
|
|
